There’s a powerful question that A Course in Miracles suggests we ask ourselves anytime we are tempted to be angry or upset with another person. And that question is this: “Does he need help or condemnation?” (T-25.III.9)
When we’re with our ego, we see all the reasons why this person deserves our wrath. They did this awful, unkind thing to us. They are not a good person – at least not in a particular moment. They were unfair. They should feel bad for what they did.
And so on.
But when we step back and ask ourselves that question: “Does he need help or condemnation?” we realize the answer is always the former. He needs help.
In fact, every awful thing anyone does (including us) is a call for help. It’s an unconscious plea that essentially says, “I don’t feel that I’m worthy of love. I am not feeling loved. I am afraid. I feel all alone.”
When we can “hear” that plea from everyone – then we can respond in the most loving way – which is without condemnation but instead with healing help.